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LOS ANGELES (AP) — Jennifer Lawrence says she blamed herself for failing as a negotiator when she learned from the leaked Sony emails that her male co-stars were paid more for “American Hustle.”

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The Oscar-winning actress wrote in an essay for the online newsletter Lenny on Tuesday that she didn’t want to fight for millions of dollars, partly because she didn’t need the money and partly because she didn’t want to come across as “difficult” or “spoiled.”

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In the thoughtful essay, Lawrence wonders if she’s wasted her time trying to be likable while her male counterparts are commended for being fierce. She ultimately concludes that she’s “over” finding adorable ways to state her opinion.

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Lenny is a recently launched weekly newsletter from Lena Dunham and her “Girls” executive producer Jenni Konner.