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TALE OF THE TAPE

  1. Carolina Panthers v Baltimore Ravens Miami Dolphins v Houston Texans
    Tale Of The Tape: Baltimore Ravens At Miami Dolphins

    Joe Flacco has the arm strength and skills to dominate any game, but he is not infallible. He has the tendency to force the ball into tight windows because he believes in his arm strength and that can lead to problems.

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    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

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    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

  4. dolphinscredit2.jpg saintscredit2.jpg
    Tale Of The Tape: Miami Dolphins At New Orleans Saints

    The Saints are making up for lost time after their disastrous 2012 season. In addition to their explosive offense, they are also playing with a lot of intelligence and cutting down on mistakes.

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    Tale Of The Tape: New England Patriots At Atlanta Falcons

    Matt Ryan is one of the best regular-season quarterbacks in the league. That’s meant as a compliment, but when you don’t win in the postseason, it impacts your reputation.

  6. cardinalscredit1.jpg tampacredit1.jpg
    Tale Of The Tape: Arizona Cardinals At Tampa Bay Buccaneers

    Quarterback Carson Palmer had a difficult time in Week 3 against the Saints in the Superdome, and that’s not a huge surprise.

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