Lauren’s List: Relationship Killers To Avoid Ahead of Valentine’s Day

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Valentine’s Day is tomorrow, but not everyone will be celebrating with chocolate hearts and roses.

Not all relationships are meant to last, but there are some that may be doomed from the start!

Couples therapists say there are a few telltale signs a romance isn’t going to work out.

Today’s “Lauren’s List” reveals four habits the experts say are always relationship killers.

  1. Fixating on the Negative- Maybe your ex was hilarious and your new beau doesn’t have quite the same comedic timing. Or your friend’s partner cooks, and yours burns toast. Getting into the habit of “compare and despair” will doom any relationship. Focus on your significant other’s positive traits and maybe let it slide that he or she is a horrible dancer.
  1. Not Pressing Pause- You know that saying, “Never go to bed angry?” Well some experts say couples take that a little too seriously… and simply keep fighting all night long! Sometimes you need to press pause on an argument, either to calm down or to gain some perspective apart from your partner. There’s science to this, too! When you’re arguing and your heart rate skyrockets, you can lose access to the part of your brain that gives you communication skills. And those are key in any relationship!
  1. Faking Calm- You may think you’re playing the role of strong and supportive spouse, but never expressing your emotions, whether they’re anger or sadness, creates an atmosphere of emotional dishonesty. Not being truthful about how you feel can sometimes lead to trust issues that can throw a wrench in any romance.
  1. Not Fighting At All- We all probably know a couple or two who seem to be absolutely perfect. They never argue! But relationship gurus say that’s not something to strive for either! Even bickering is considered a type of conversation, and staying quiet about everything could breed resentment or ambivalence.

What bad habits do you try to avoid in your relationships?

Tell me on Facebook or Twitter.

Send ideas for future Lauren’s Lists to lpastrana@cbs.com.

More from Lauren Pastrana
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