FORT LAUDERDALE – “You tend to, like, get upset when somebody trying to harm the family jewels!” laughs Sheldon Gonzalez.

He nearly lost the the family jewels to fire! Good thing he has a sense of humor.

The one accused of torching his crotch is his girlfriend Berlinda Dixon-Newbold. In her mug shot, she had a tear in her eye as she booked into the Broward County Jail.

“The bottom of his shirt and his pants were on fire in the crotch area,” said Broward Circuit Judge John Hurley as he began a bond hearing for Newbold.

She’s charged with aggravated assault. The judge said she was lucky not to be charged with arson.

Gonzalez told police the trouble began Tuesday night – he got home late – she needed attention – but he was tired and dosed off on the couch…then – what a rude awakening.

“The flame was right here,” he said, pointing at his crotch. “I just felt the heat in my groin area and I just reacted and she was right over me with…the lighter burning the t-shirt I was wearing. “

“Did you see any fire down there?” asked CBS 4’s Ted Scouten. “Yes,” he said.

One can imagine – Gonzalez moved quickly to douse that burning crotch – and he got the flames out fast.

As for getting back with Berlinda – Gonzalez is ready to douse that flame too…in fact –she’s not even allowed anywhere near him.

“You have to stay 500 feet from him at all times,” ordered Judge Hurley. And he continued. “You’re not allowed to possess any lighters or any matches either.”

She’s being held on $6500 bond.