CHIEFLAND (CBSMiami) – A Chiefland man’s cunning plan to hold up a convenience store with a knife all went south, according to police, when his wheelchair got stuck in the sand behind the store when he tried to make his get away.

The Chevron clerk told police that 22-year old John Christopher Champion, who was wearing a Gators hat and Gators sweatshirt, had been going in and out of the store for several hours in his motorized wheelchair. Just before 10 p.m., the clerk said Champion piloted his chair behind the counter and demanded cash from the register as he brandished a pocket knife.

The 54-year old clerk said she fought back and in her struggle with Champion she stabbed him three times in the leg before he overpowered her. He then allegedly rolled out of the store with a 12-pack of beer and a roll of electrical tape.

When officers arrived, they found Champion stuck in the sand behind the store drinking a Bud Light Lime, according to the Gainesville Sun.

When confronted, police said Champion admitted to stealing the beer and tape from the store but added that he didn’t rob it. He also told police that he urged the clerk to hit the alarm button because they would never arrest a handicapped person.

He got that wrong.

Champion was arrested and charged with armed robbery and aggravated battery. He was then treated for the stab wounds in his leg and booked into the Levy County jail.

The Gainesville Sun contributed to this report.

Comments (43)
  1. DeusVult says:

    The pix EXPLAINS this sad sack’s state of mind!-LOL!
    Well he guess wronged, do the crime do the time PLUS get stabbed in the leg!

  2. Garr Obo says:

    That is soooooo f*****g funny. What a moron.

    1. nicademus says:

      Look up the word Schmuck and you’ll see his pic.

      1. george says:

        The pic that is in the story makes me wonder why he got himself mired in the sand. He’s got a perfectly shaped wheelchair ramp on top of his head.

  3. Franklin says:

    He will now file a lawsuit because the back of the building was not handicap accessible

  4. Swisstoons says:

    How long before the Dems on the city council propose mandating “getaway ramps” at all convenience stores?

    1. fred says:

      lmao…good one.

      we all know that those idiot Dems consider his arrest to be discriminatory

    2. babydriver says:

      Now THAT was funny.

  5. Mike E. Coon says:

    This dimwit has to be an OweBaMao Bin Lying, voter, donor, and no doubt, a relative !l

  6. Finbar says:

    I didn’t know Monty Python was still working.

  7. fred says:

    HAHAHA…excellent news…and now that the dummy is heading to prison, Odumma will get one less vote.

    1. robadude32 says:

      Yeah Fred – definitely a teachable moment!!!!!

  8. Mike says:

    No doubt, he got his motorized wheelchair via some federal program since the guy couldn’t afford to buy beer. Our tax dollars at work!

  9. Iambic PentaMaster says:

    There once was a guy in a chair,
    Who had this ridiculous hair,
    He stole beer and tape,
    Then made his escape,
    ‘Round the back, where he’s still stuck there.

    1. Vinylmaker says:

      I love it. You are the new Poet Lauriate of this site. Damn Funny.

    2. dat says:

      Now THAT was a good one!

    3. Dan says:

      You’ve got a real future if you can make funny limricks from a silly man’s stupid actions. Very funny!!!

  10. Dave says:

    He’ll make plenty suing the store for ADA violations. After all, imagine the embarrassment he suffered because the store didn’t make their back lot handicapped accessible.

  11. jpbrody says:

    Special accommodations should have been made so he could work in his chosen profession.

  12. Jontrellius Theodorius Jackson IV says:

    Some stupid liberal jury and stupid liberal judge (it’s hard to say liberal without saying stupid) will let him off easy. The responsible and productive are going to support this loser (democrat) for the rest of his life no matter what.

  13. Uncle Jesse says:

    In or out of jail the tax payer is on the hook for this clown. At least they know where he is.

  14. Liberalism gone mad! says:

    This proves the bigotry against handicap people. All sand should be removed from all cities because it makes handicap people get stuck. I think someone should go to San Fransisco and begin to sue the city because their hills and such do not meet ADA codes. Get that liberal city to be ADA compliant!!!!!!! BIGOTS!

  15. Bad Joke says:

    I say give him ‘The Chair’.

    Ho Ho hee hee

  16. Rufus says:

    wheelchair man? really…what idiot wrote this story…


  17. Ricardo Queso says:

    A man’s got to know his limitations.

    – Harry Callahan

    1. Alice Ramirez says:

      Just what I was going to write! Harry via Ricardo stole my thunder! 😉

  18. pete says:

    They should give all Democrats
    a free trip to Haiti or Greece!

  19. GottaLoveFlorida says:

    The best part of this is the clerk’s fail, she stabbed the guy in the leg – I would venture a guess that his arms would have been a better place to stab, maybe he would have felt that. At least he knew what to do when he was stuck – start drinkin!

  20. Jim Croft says:

    He won’t have a leg to stand on when he gets to court…..

    1. fred says:

      hahaha…you’re right…he ain’t walking out of that courtroom

  21. Dan L says:

    If certain things were different, Al Sharpton and Jesse Jerkson would be there right now claiming discrimination.

  22. Elvis says:

    A mind is a terrible thing to waste. This poor soul is a victim of the liberal agenda

  23. Vinylmaker says:

    This should have had a “Darwin Awards” ending to keep his genes out of the pool. What a dumb A – – !!!

  24. Tom M says:

    Watch Out!!! He may not have a leg to stand on, but he is still armed!

  25. Tom says:

    Even though he doesn’t have a leg to stand on, he is STILL armed!

  26. Crabjuice says:

    The ironic thing is that he was trying to steal the money so he could buy off-road tires for his wheelchair.

  27. Count Yob says:

    Gentlefolk of the jury,

    My client would have made a clean getaway if the area behind the store had been properly wheelchair accessible. If he cannot split you must acquit.

  28. george says:

    Well, this perp has a clear-cut ADA lawsuit against the convenience store. Somewhere there is a judge just itching to rule that disabled people have the same right to rob a retail establishment as anybody else, and thus the store was guilty of discrimination by failing to clear away any impediments to a robber’s getaway in a wheelchair. (You think I’m joking?)

  29. Real Rick says:

    I’m in a wheelchair and this is idiot was hilarious!!!

  30. me says:

    Next he will say he cannot be put in prison because the cell doors are not wide enough for his wheelchair. lol

  31. me says:

    I guess his freeloader SSD check was not enough for him. For the record, I worked for a bit more than 12 years after becoming paralyzed and am not on SSD, food stamps, welfare, and do not live in section 8 housing.

  32. Woody says:

    Quality education those Gators get…