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TALE OF THE TAPE

Tale Of Two Teams: The Fantasy Football Legend Vs. The Fantasy Football Basement Dweller

Fantasy Football can be, well, a nightmare. Players turn out to be total flops, coaches bench your starting QB, and everyones ribs are broken by Week 14. With Fantasy Football playoffs underway this week, we’ve pitted the #1 seed and the #Last seed against each other since, let’s face it, they should duke it out anyway. A girl can dream…

First Place Fantasy Team
Last Place Fantasy Team
St. Louis Rams v Dallas Cowboys
AFC Championship - Baltimore Ravens v New England Patriots
Team Name
The [r]Ed Hochuli Peppers (ECHP)
Joe Buck Yourself
#1 Draft Pick
DeMarco Murray
Tom Brady
DRAFT DAY PREDICTION
"I can see, in ten years, Coach Harbaugh and Alex Smith still working together like the old married couple they really are. He'll coach 5 rings out of him. Together forever."
"There's no way Arian Foster is playing this year. When you're that big, rehabbing a torn hamstring is like trying to turn a pile of pulled pork into a pig again."
OVERALL RECORD GOING INTO WEEK 14
10-2
2-10
SEASON HIGHLIGHT
Beating team "Your Mom" 144-28 because someone forgot to wake up before 10am PST to set their team thanks to a hangover.
Coming up with the idea to use Robert Griffin's head as the star of the family Christmas tree thereby referring to it for the season as "RG-Tree."
SEASON LOWLIGHT
Losing to "[team]" the same week the office floods from Hurricane Sandy. When it rains, it pours...into your basement and corporate server room.
Trading Tom Brady (based on the fact that he's an UGGS spokesperson and model) for "literally anyone," and playing Mark "Butt Tackle" Sanchez instead.
BEST SMACK TALK
"Seriously, John, if you don't pay the entry fee AND I beat you, I get your girlfriend. I already talked to her and she's fine and encouraging it."
"Me : You :: Best Thing Ever : Worst Thing Ever"
WEEKLY EXCUSE
"I'm not bragging, but obviously I could manage a real NFL team. I'm literally the most talented athlete I know and that's reinforced by my record. You can't argue with numbers."
"DeMarco Murray's foot is my Achilles heel. I knew I should've traded for the Muscle Hamster. How's someone supposed to count on Felix Jones?!"

MORE TALES OF THE TAPE

  1. (Source: Jeff Gross/Getty Images) (Source: Lars Baron/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: Football vs. Futbol

    With the World Cup still going strong and the NFL just weeks away from getting started it seemed like a fun idea to compare the two sports that share the same name…sort of. From the global “futbol” to the American “football” these sports are two of the most popular in their own right. As somewhat of a disclaimer I will add that this Tale of the Tape is being written by an American, though I am a big soccer fan. That being said, let’s start the debate.

  2. FIFA President Jospeph Sepp Blatter and South Africa President Jacob Zuma present the World Cup trophy to Iker Casillas, captain of Spain, during the 2010 FIFA World Cup South Africa Final match between Netherlands and Spain at Soccer City Stadium on July 11, 2010 in Johannesburg, South Africa.  (Source: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images) South Korea's Kim Donghyeon practices during a men's Luge training session at the Sanki Sliding Centre in Rosa Khutor on February 6, 2014, on the eve of the Sochi 2014 Olympic Winter Games' opening ceremony. (Source: LIONEL BONAVENTURE/AFP/Getty Images)
    Tale Of The Tape: World Cup Vs. Olympics

    There are very few worldwide occurrences that captivate fans of every nation the way that the Olympics and World Cup have proven to do. When the time comes for either event you can bet that the majority of the world shifts their attention to these amazing month-long competitions. 2014 has been a great year for fans of the Olympics and the World Cup as both took place in the span of just a few months. With the World Cup still going strong and the Olympics fresh in the minds of fans across the globe, let’s see how they match up when placed side-by-side.

  3. (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Richard Heathcote) (Photo Credit: Getty Images/Warren Little)
    Tale Of The Tape: Winter Olympics In Sochi Vs. FIFA World Cup In Brazil

    With both sites having their share of issues in hosting major international sporting events, we went to the tape to decide who was the worst host of 2014.

See All Tales of the Tape
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