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Tale of the tape

NFL

  1. EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - AUGUST 18: Andrew Luck #12 of the Indianapolis Colts talks on the sidelines during their preseason game against the New York Giants at MetLife Stadium on August 18, 2013 in East Rutherford, New Jersey. SAN DIEGO, CA - AUGUST 29: Philip Rivers #17 of the San Diego Chargers plays the role of backup quarterback during a preseason game against the San Francisco 49ers at Qualcomm Stadium on August 29, 2013 in San Diego, California.
    Tale Of The Tape: Indianapolis Colts At San Diego Chargers

    While Andrew Luck was getting a run for his money as the top rookie quarterback in the league last year from RGIII and Russell Wilson, Luck appears to have gotten even better in 2013.

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    More Impressive Stats? Denver Broncos Offense Vs. Playing Madden On “Easy”

    The Broncos are on pace to break some crazy impressive records. But how do the 2013 Broncos measure up against when I play Madden on easy?

  3. Carolina Panthers v Baltimore Ravens Miami Dolphins v Houston Texans
    Tale Of The Tape: Baltimore Ravens At Miami Dolphins

    Joe Flacco has the arm strength and skills to dominate any game, but he is not infallible. He has the tendency to force the ball into tight windows because he believes in his arm strength and that can lead to problems.

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    The Giants Losing To Carolina Vs. Little Mac Losing To Glass Joe In “Punch-Out”

    Perhaps the most lopsided battle in video game sports is that of Little Mac vs. Glass Joe – the first fight in Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out! If done correctly, skilled players can knock the beans out of Joe in 42 seconds, flat. Unskilled players can still take him out before three rounds are up. And unskilled players who think too much would wonder – why is a French guy named “Joe”?

    In any case, we here at CBS wondered, what was a more lopsided matchup (and subsequent surprising defeat): Mac vs. Joe? Or the recent Super Bowl champion New York Giants vs. the mostly hapless Carolina Panthers? Let’s go to the tape. Please note that the “winner” of each category is the more humiliating option:

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    One Broken Arm Later: Nate Burleson’s Pizza Vs. DiGiorno (It’s Not Delivery)

    Detroit Lions’ wide receiver Nate Burleson is great at receiving both deftly thrown footballs and emergency roadside medical treatment. Recently, he crashed his car into a Jersey barrier after dropping a slice of pizza around 2:30 in the morning. Apparently there was no hooch in his system, it’s just that he was being a big ol’ bag of dum-dum lollipops. The question that we at CBS can’t help but ask: would he have been better off cooking himself a DiGiorno frozen pizza? Let’s go to the tape.

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    Tale Of The Tape: Miami Dolphins At New Orleans Saints

    The Saints are making up for lost time after their disastrous 2012 season. In addition to their explosive offense, they are also playing with a lot of intelligence and cutting down on mistakes.